Funny IT Stories Part #1

Crazy But True!

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Keywords:
modification, battery, ThinkPad, touchpad, citations

Key Takeaway:
Over the span of my 30+ year career in IT, I have seen a lot of customers and coworkers do some rather crazy things.

Category Insights:
HUMOR — This article includes a lighthearted or humorous take on technology.

Over the span of my 30+ year career in IT, I have seen a lot of customers and coworkers do some rather crazy things. In this series of posts I will share a few of my more notable experiences. All of these accounts are true stories. Some are merely funny and some highlight some rather stupid actions that IT workers experience.

This is part 2 of a multi part series and each one will contain 5 separate accounts. These stories are deliberately arranged randomly. The names of customers, coworkers and businesses are withheld.

I hope these make you laugh! Enjoy.

No. You can't return a heavily modified computer.

A client needed a new desktop for the purpose of video creation and DVD duplication, but had a somewhat limited budget. I quoted several options, and he chose one of the less expensive HP media center models. I had invested far more time into this sale than I should have to find something that would work for him, but he eventually settled on a new HP Media center desktop from my business.

I didn’t hear from him for nearly six months. Out of the blue, he called—angry and frustrated. He explained that he had replaced the CD‑RW drive with a different unit, added a second drive for disc duplication, and made several other modifications such as a different graphics card. During the call, he said he wanted to return the computer. He no longer had any of the original packaging and said it didn't meet his needs.

I told him that because of the extensive modifications, the system was no longer in resaleable condition, and he was well beyond any reasonable retail return window. He became extremely upset and started calling me every name in the book. I had to end the call. I never heard from him again.

I don't like it when things end in this manner, but I can't eat the cost of this computer after it was modified. Some retail sales simply aren’t worth the effort.

Power Play

A customer called saying his laptop battery refused to charge. The BIOS was throwing errors, the system wouldn’t boot, and I was knee‑deep in other work. Since it was an older laptop, I told him over the phone to simply remove the battery so he could run on AC power while waiting for a replacement that I would need to order.

A very simple instruction. A single release tab. One motion. Easy.

Naturally, he did something else entirely.

I would never ask a client to remove screws and open up a laptop.Instead of removing the battery, he opened the bottom cover and yanked the tiny ribbon cable connected to the hard drive — like he was starting a lawn mower. He tore the connector clean off the motherboard. He had confused the battery with the harddrive.

When he brought it in, I showed him the battery release tab and demonstrated how it opens with all the effort of lifting a potato chip.

Now, instead of a quick battery workaround, He destroyed his own motherboard.

Never overestimate a customer’s abilities!!

Something doesn't add up

A customer brought in five matching ThinkPads and asked me to make them usable again. She couldn’t get into any of them and planned to resell them. I was busy when she dropped them off, so I signed them in without looking too closely and told her I’d get to them after finishing a couple of other jobs.

When I finally examined them, all five were BIOS‑locked. I called her to ask for the passwords, and she said she didn’t have them—they were purchased from “a guy in Chicago.” That’s when my Spidey senses started tingling. Five identical laptops, all BIOS‑locked, no passwords, bought from an unnamed seller? The situation didn’t smell right.

I contacted local law enforcement and explained that the laptops might be stolen. The detective asked for the customer’s name. As soon as I gave it, he recognized her immediately. He said she had a long history involving check fraud, theft, and other issues going back many years. She was well known in the community.

He asked me to call her and have her pick up the laptops. When she arrived, the detective was waiting. She repeated the same story, but since nothing had been reported stolen and there was no proof, she couldn’t be arrested. The detective asked what I wanted to do, and I told him I simply wanted her to leave. I didn’t want any involvement with what I still strongly believe were stolen machines.

She left with the laptops and the detective thanked me for the heads‑up.

Some situations aren’t worth the risk, and this was one of them.

Hunt and Peck

A customer purchased a new laptop and was very happy with it at first. Several months later, he reported that the keyboard was having issues. I examined it and found nothing wrong. He had two other people test it as well, and none of them could reproduce the problem.

He continued using the laptop, but about a month later he called again—frustrated—and said he wanted to return it, even though he had purchased it roughly six months earlier. I worked with him to figure out what was happening and discovered he was a hunt‑and‑peck typist. He insisted he typed so slowly that the issue couldn’t possibly be user error. He would type several lines in an email, look up, and see a jumbled mess on the screen.

He had someone else test it again, and once again, no issues were found.

I suggested he might be accidentally brushing the touchpad, causing the cursor to jump around. He was adamant that he wasn’t. I explained it could be his wrist, sleeve, or even a slight accidental tap. After a lot of back‑and‑forth, he finally agreed to let me disable the touchpad. He didn’t like using it anyway and relied on an external mouse.

A few days later, he called back with an apology. The problem had completely disappeared. Imagine that!

Moving Violations

A woman called saying she could no longer get online to play her games. She described her computer as a “little desktop” and had no technical skills whatsoever, so I asked her to bring it in at 10 a.m. I gave her simple directions since she didn’t have GPS.

That turned into an adventure all by itself.

She got lost, went back home, and called me. I gave her the directions again. Thirty minutes later, she called a third time—still unable to find my shop, despite the fact that I’m located on a major, well‑known road and she lived in the area. I told her to try once more.

I stepped outside to watch for her. I saw a tiny blue car creeping down the road and figured it had to be her. I waved, but she didn’t see me. She made a U‑turn in the intersection and went home. When she called again, I asked if she drove a little blue car. She said yes. I explained she needed to go straight through the intersection—she simply hadn’t gone far enough.

On her next attempt, I saw her stop in the middle of the road, make another U‑turn, and head home again. Then came the next call—this time she was extremely upset. She had been pulled over and given five citations. One was for erratic driving (which I had witnessed), another for no seatbelt, and I strongly suspect one was for an illegal U‑turn, considering she drove a full car length into someone’s yard. Now she has a court appearance. She was furious about the officer, but still wanted her computer fixed.

She tried again, calling from her car this time. I told her I would flag her down. I saw the blue car approaching slowly and instructed her to go through the stop sign—I’d be on the left. She finally made it.

She then handed me an ancient 2008 eMachines desktop running Windows Vista. The CD had shattered inside the drive, and the tray was jammed open. I explained the system was extremely old, but she insisted on having it repaired.

The real issue was simple: no modern browser supports Windows Vista anymore. The network worked fine, but she couldn’t browse anything because the software was obsolete. I removed a pile of ancient toolbars and other obsolete software and managed to get the system running surprisingly well, considering its age I replace the browser with the last supported version of Firefox.